Yesterday I had an “oh my God” moment - I realized that the day my sister died passed by and I didn’t even think about it. She died 10 years ago November 12 as a result of injuries from getting hit by a drunk driver.
I have to admit that it was weird for me to not think about it. I was also in the same accident - I was the driver - and I’ve carried a lot of guilt over the years for the accident.
Over the last year or so, Steve’s been helping me deal with that guilt - I was driving and I turned left at a light - this guy switched lanes on a yellow light and blasted through and hit us. But I felt that if I hadn’t been rushing it - the accident wouldn’t have happened - and the courts agreed - I was found guilty of failure to yield (and that didn’t help the guilt that I was feeling either). Anyway, over the last year, I’ve been talking with Steve and praying a lot - and I’ve come to realize that the guilt I was feeling isn’t necessary or appropriate any longer.
That’s a big step for me because the accident happened in 1994 and Kerry died in 1997 - and I’ve been carrying this feeling for the better part of 13 years. When I realized that I didn’t need to carry this load - I could give it to God - I felt so free!!!!
That’s why yesterday was such an amazing thing for me - I didn’t even think about Kerry on the 10th anniversary of the day she died. Usually I get depressed and miss her a lot (especially this time of the year - since the accident happened on December 23) and I spend a lot of time beating myself up over her death.
I’ve finally let go of that guilt and can move on and continue to become the woman that God’s calling me to be. What a wonderful feeling!
