It’s been a while – but I got busy with living life.

So here’s the update – Jae’s visa paperwork is finished and approved by the US Govt.  It’s in Korea at the US Embassy now – so that’s the good news … now the not so good news – our paperwork in Korea seems to be stalled for now.  Our social worker is amazing and she’s been keeping us informed on how Jae’s doing.  The video of Jae was amazing and the new photos we got have been wonderful to look through.  I keep dreaming about what it’s going to be like when he arrives.  I’ve been nesting like mad.  I’ve got Jae’s room cleaned out and am in the process of setting it up.  We also have the baby shower coming this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it.

In terms of school, I’m glad to be done with teaching for now.  I was really burned out by the end of the school year, and to help me get over that, I had the chance to go to Kids’ Camp with our church.  I had 5 really awesome young women in my cabin and we had a blast – they were wonderful to talk with and to see how thirsty they are to know Christ better.  That really helped me recover from the end of the year.

Other than that – Steve and I have been working on our house – we’ve finished laying the floor and we’re finished with the painting the new room we added.  I still have to paint Jae’s room and we have some work to do on some of the new (used) furniture we got.  I’m not working right now – but I’ll probably start looking for an online part-time job next week.  Any ideas – let me know.

A friend’s blog just reminded me of the joys of watching your child as they still enjoy being a child.  She was writing in her blog about how her daughter was enjoying the story of Jack and the Beanstalk.  She reminded me that there are so many joys ahead of me.

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of horror stories for lack of a better term about parenting and adopting and all the problems of having a child.  I started to lose track of the joy that we will also be experiencing.  I want to think about when our son sees the Christmas tree for the first time and when he opens his birthday presents.  How he will look as he’s falling asleep but struggling to stay awake like a big boy.

I’m looking forward to watching him learn to walk, to eat new foods for the first time.  His smile as he plays with our dog in the backyard.  His giggle when he gets tickled by his dad.

There are so many joys ahead of me as a mom, yes, I know that there are also the struggles and the pain, but really what do we really remember – that bad or the good?  I think that defines the relationship you have with your kids – and as for me – I want to remember the good and stay focused on that!

So thank you Andi for sharing the joy of your daughter’s reactions to your story – that really helped me remember why I’m doing all this!  It’s all about the JOY!

my new son … J, he should be arriving this summer and we can’t wait for him to get here! He’s 5-1/2 months old and he’s beautiful!

my beautiful son

We’re now officially eligible to adopt! We just finished our home study and we can now receive our referral. So the next step is to find out who our baby is and when he/she will be home!!! Yahoo!!!!!!

Hey all – I know it’s been a while since I’ve blogged – but when you are teaching full time in an autism classroom – well … you don’t have a lot of energy after you finish the day.

The last week has been interesting – last Saturday, Steve and I had our CPR and First Aid certification classes. Because I’m working with autistic students, I asked about dealing with seizures. It’s a good thing I did – one of my students suffered a grand mal seizure yesterday and I was the only adult with him at the time. I got help very quickly, but I gotta admit – I’m really glad I had that training.

This whole weekend is going to be spent cleaning house because … we have our home visit on Monday for the adoption!!!!!!! Please be praying for us – this is the final step before the homestudy is done. Anyway – that’s what’s been going on in my life – I’ll get more out in my next blog when I have a moment to breathe!

I’m getting an education right now. I took a long term teaching job working with autistic children. I’ll be working with 8 autistic kids through the end of the school year. If you’ve never worked with autistic children – you might think that autism is the same for each child. It’s not – I’m learning about the spectrum of this disorder. I have a real spectrum in my class and I’m learning all about how to relate to each one of the students.

I’m really enjoying the kids – I’m learning what works and what doesn’t. So as much as I’m teaching my students, I’m learning from them too. I’m also learning from my aides who are very compassionate and well-versed in the behaviors of each one of the students.

Along with what I’m doing at school, I’m also learning about what it means to become a prospective adoptive parent. We’re in the middle of the homestudy and I’m learning that I really need to think about what adopting means. I can’t wait to learn about our baby.

So I’m in a major learning stage of my life … and I’m really enjoying it right now!

Steve, three years ago today, I linked my life to yours. In that time, we’ve dealt with serious illness for both of us, infertility, parent’s in the hospitals and job losses. But we’ve also had fun creating a wonderful warm home, building new friendships together (thanks life group) and have grown deeper and deeper in love with each other. I can’t even begin to imagine life without you. You have helped me become the woman I’ve always dreamed of being.

The pain and fear of these last couple of months has been lessened by the way you’ve loved and supported me! You make me laugh when I need to, and help me to cry when I need to. I know that our life together hasn’t been what we expected, but we have met each challenge together and have withstood the storms.

You introduced me to Disneyland and helped me to be a child again. I laugh so much easier now and cry so much easier now, all because three years ago, you vowed to live life with me.

You are my best friend, my lover, my husband and this year you will become father to our child. And I would marry you all over again.

My heart is breaking for some friends of mine – they are going through an awful time right now. I’m praying for them, but I wish there were more I could do for them. I feel so powerless right now!

The last two months have been two of the most difficult months ever. Mom was in the hospital for two months and during that time I watched her get worse not better. She’s really been struggling with recovering from this surgery and it seems like each time she made a step forward, she’d make two backward at the same time.

It’s been hard not being able to do anything … but I think in many ways God is teaching me not only patience, but acceptance that He’s in control. These are things I need to really incorporate into my life especially with the baby coming hopefully sometime this fall.

Speaking of the baby – we should be starting our home study next week – we’ll start with the joint interview – then there will be individual interviews and then the home visit. Between now and the home visit, Steve and I need to get our new room finished. I’m in the process of demolishing the back wall of the room. We’re going to get that finished by Sunday, then hopefully our contractor will be able to get his interior guy in to work on the drywall, taping and knockdown. Then we’ll paint and get the floor laid.

We have a lot of work to do, and in the meantime, I’m also teaching pretty regularly and I’ll be long term teaching again starting in April through the end of the school year. I’m also helping my dad take care of my mom. I think I’m going to have a very busy spring. But in the words of my friend Sara, “It’s all good!”

I’ve spent most of the last week trying to figure out what God is leading me to give up in my life for Lent. And last night at Ash Wednesday service God made it very clear what He wants me to do. I was talking with Jaime and she told me about a mental fasting from wrong thinking. I started thinking about this and it seemed like it was the right thing. Then about 5 minutes later, I got an email from a friend and she really helped me to see that this is what God wants me to do – here’s what she wrote:

“Remember to enjoy everyday that God gives you, good or bad, rejoice in all things … take lots of pictures, journal & praise God together.

“I recently went through a really hard time, and a friend kept telling me to praise God, I wanted to hit him in the face each time he said it, but he was right because once I did that God opened doors and opened my heart in ways I didn’t expect.

“I know your heart for God is strong. But I also know when we are faced with troubles we get wrapped up in things and forget to give thanks….”

She was so right! I need to remember to praise God in everything even the hard things. I get so focused on what’s going wrong that I forget that God is there for me always! So be praying for me over this Lenten time as I work to change my negative thinking to a more positive way of living my life.